I am sad and thoughtful this evening.  I have had a confusing experience happen. Let me explain.  My mother-in-law is a wonderful loving woman whom I look up too.  She has a friend of 20 years, that is like a daughter to her, Patti.  Well I know Patti through my MIL (mother-in-law) My MIL has known Patti since Patti was 16 yrs old.  They have gone through a lot together, being co-workers and friends.  Patti's parents lived several states away and MIL was her surrogate parent.

Well, Patti fell in love and got married and as lives are lived decided she wanted to be a mother.  This took a lot more work.  After 4 years of fertility, the happy couple found out they were to be parents to a little girl.  The pregnancy went as planned and the nursery was set up and painted for the beautiful baby coming into their lives.  On Oct 14 little baby girl was breach(head up instead of down) so the doctors decided a C-section was safest.  Patti agreed.  Little baby girl came into this world perfect and loved by both parents, and family, and friends.  Then things went horribly wrong, Patti wouldn't stop bleeding.  The doctors had to perform an emergency hysterectomy to stop the bleeding.  By the time they had the bleeding stopped Patti had lost over half of her blood.  No big deal, give her blood intravenously and all will be well, right.  No.  Patti has some very specific religious beliefs that don't allow her to receive blood, ever, for any reason.  She had signed paperwork before the birth and had specifically stated this fact.  So with little baby girl only hours old the doctors told her and her husband she would die without the blood.  She declined. Friday, Oct 16th at 1:30p Patti passed away at the age of 36.  Leaving a newborn girl and loving husband. 

At first I was amazed, then angry, now I am honored to have known this brave woman.  Being that I have to deal with, and manage this brutal disease every day, to maintain my health, with no guarantees of living without complications.  Could I have made this decision?  I don' think so.  I fight every day for my health, could I pass up a simple medical procedure on a religious belief.  I don't think I could make that sacrifice.  Patti was a brave woman.  It doesn't matter what I believe about the correctness or wrongness of this religion and its doctrines. It is a decision that she made, and she lived and died by that belief.  I grieve for her husband who is now raising this little girl, I grieve for this little girl who will never know how much her mother wanted her and loved her.  I grieve for all the moments Patti will never have.  I get angry with her decision but once the anger passes I am amazed at Patti's strength of character.  I don't think I could have made the same choice.