I am in an introspective mood this morning. I was out in the rustic little gazebo that my beloved has in the back yard. It is where I think deeply and for as long as my thoughts need.
I thought to myself if I could be cured of just one of my chronic conditions which one would it be. If I could be cured I would leave my mental health issues behind and live with the diabetes. If you have good mental health everything else can be worked around. So do anything and everything you can for yours.
I took my eleven pills this morning and I know that tonight I will take seven more plus my insulin. It does get tiresome but I know that without these meds all the conditions will possibly destroy me. So I take them againest my will and I try to be thankful for them. I know in my mind that life is good and I desire many more years of it. When I was a young woman I would not even take an aspirin if I could avoid it thinking that I would need the full strength of it when I got older. I definately could not see ahead to health conditions that would arise with time. I am glad that I didn't know.
It strikes me how many of us with diabetes keep kicking againest the thorn and often are in a state of denial about how we care for it and rebell. I guess that is a hidden need for some control in life with an condition that none of us would ask for. But the real control is doing anything and everything to improve our lot in life to do the things that we need to do. It empowers us.
I don't know if I am aging quickly or I am just having battle scars from a difficult life. I do not recognize the face that I see in the mirror. Each line and change is just the master's work in a continual changing portrait of me. Each day has new challenges to meet and there is no rest from it until we fight and keep our courage and honor.
I will never give up. It is not in my nature.
Sally








Hello Sally, I always look forward to reading your posts. Yes we all have some level of denial. I think you can never be totally free of it. In some cases it can be a good thing. When does honesty turn from being a tool we use to make our life better to a sharp weapon we wound our heart. .
WillSometimes we need to pull the wool over our own eyes so we can focus on what needs to be done. We pucker up our lips and whistle a happy tune so we no longer feel so afraid. (Now I have that old song in my head. LOL
I hear your words and know how true they are. Survivors all have a case of the stubborns. It is what makes us warriors and sometimes when we can help others, a hero.
When the wind blows and rain falls and the ground shakes beneath our feet. Where hope abides we can endure it all and make each other smile.
Best wishes and good thoughts my friend.
Will
02:06 PM EST