There are two things I have always wanted, one is be in the military, and wanted to since I was a very small child. Born with this disease, was a no go.  The other thing was cars and motorcycles and I made that happen as much as I could.  I love nothing more than racing.

If I could make racing my life, it would be number one. I missed out on a lot, but then achieved allot to.  I LOVE the sound of an engine with lots of horsepower and I get chills every time a race starts, any race.  I grew up in a small city here and you could hear the dirt track loud and clear where we grew up, and for the first parts of my life here, I was at the race track every Friday and whenever it went on.  I loved the hot dogs and dirt and the sound of the engines.  While my other friends I went to the track were playing around with each other, I was glued to my seat picking out my favorite drivers and cars and filled with an energy that if they could feel would give them added horsepower.  I love this.  I don't mean that lightly, I truly love it with everything I am.

Some of the pictures on my page are with some huge power racing teams in NASCAR.  After my heart attack in 2007, my father mentioned what happened and my life to a few people in Charlotte NC, NASCAR and Racing USA and I got to see, touch and be with my NASCAR drivers car (Tony Stewart)  Dale Earnhardt is my driver of lifetime, and I actually quit watching NASCAR after Dale died because I just felt empty, then Tony with that Orange car and expressive attitude came out and I was back to NASCAR.  With Make A Wish in Charlotte, I got first class tour and meetings with Joe Gibbs Racing, I got to live it and the next year even got to meet Greg Zimpindeli, Tony's Crew chief for 10 years.   I'm there, I love it.

 I had drag cars, not too many dirt cars unless you count the International Scouts and other four wheel drives I built and drove.  If it went fast or sounded powerful, I was on it. It also had to look cool, I was good at making them look cool.  I should have pursued it more, but constantly listened to a few people that told me I could not do it, I should not have believed them when I was younger and made the wrong choice I guess. Does not mean I was not successful, just should have followed my heart more.  I did it for pleasure and not a profession, made the wrong call. At the time, proving them wrong but not proving enough. It happens I guess.

Today was a very emotional day for me in a lot of ways.  Today the brand new NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte NC voted on 5 members of NASCAR sports to be inducted into the first NASCAR Hall of Fame.  The brand new center for this will open in less than a year from now in Charlotte and I hope to have plans.  I watched it on TV today and my all time favorite driver was voted for the Honor. The five that were chosen were, Bill France Sr., Bill France Jr., Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt Sr., and Junior Johnson.  ALL of them I know about and have the right place in the Hall of Fame.  So thinking about Dale Earnhardt and then watching his movie, Dale, kind of made me a bit teary eyed and I still get that empty feeling when I think about what happened.  I also get the feelings I had when he raced while watching his replays and things he did.  He was and still is my hero.  He inspired me that I was normal, and I should still have my day in Victory Lane if I made it happen. If you ever seen him drive, you know he made things happen.

I did not do much else but this all day, I did not feeling like getting out of bed because I really did not know what to do and my dreams were just freaky enough to want to stay in bed.

The other thing was a awesome find.  I subscribe to Kerri Sparling's blog, Six Until Me.  She has been trying to get her diabetes and her life in such a straight line so she and her husband, Chris can have a baby.  Today she reported it to us that read her blog, that she was indeed pregnant. Pretty cool.  She has been working so hard to keep her diabetes on the very close right track to prevent complications and to make sure of both her health and the baby's.  They are going to be really good parents, I'm very happy and very proud of her.  Good job Kerri.

So today has been a range of emotions and a huge range of blood sugars, been fighting huge highs all day and finally during dinner time I came back to 114, ate and then watched my movie and felt like I bloused too much at the end of the movie. I did not and would not budge until the movie was over, so by the time I got to the machine, I was 71 and had that creepy anxiety feeling as I took the 19carbs of my faithful juice pack.  I then had that feeling for about 20 to 30 minutes after and thought about doing more but after checking, I was 100 and just decided to live with it and not boost myself up anymore to have to fight it again later.  It's just been one of them days.

I almost did not blog, I was having a hard time sitting and writing, I get these mental blocks and when I do it just don't flow and if it don't flow, then I sometimes won't do it and it will bug me on both sides of the fence, because I am doing it and not doing it.  It's a messed up feeling.  I would like to thank my buddy Steve for bringing me out of it with a comment to one of my pictures on my site that got me writing and decided to copy some of it and write around it.  Thanks Steve.

Although a lot of really good things happened today, I'm emotionally spent and going to be glad when I finally go to sleep and wake up for the next day, meaning this one is over.

I wish you well

Robert