Salutations,

First off..... let me start by saying, this site and others like it is a blessing. I was diagnosed this year, on my birthday in 2005, with type 2 diabetes. I've gone through 20 years of diabetes related health problems, and did not know what it was until recently.

I was extremely upset, not just because I found out I have diabetes, but because I've made it my business to test for diabetes many times, and it always came out negative.

My hunger was seen as lack of self-control. I consumed so much water that it became difficult to get to work. My fatigue was dismissed as being out of shape, and unhealthy. My cholesterol was 240, and EKG showed irregular heart beats.... I also told the doctors that my mother has diabetes... HELLO?????? MAJOR CLUE.....!!!!!!!

Desperate to find out what was wrong with me, I even went as far as testing for HIV about 8 times in 2 years, thinking that my fatigness and sweats, could have been coming from an immune deficiency problem. Four doctors later.... my current doctor told me my sugar was 360mg/dl (with no meals), blood pressure 140/90, A1C 13.5, cholesterol 270; with numbers this high, It baffles me that I was not diagnosed sooner, especially with so many Americans who now have the disease. How is it that I am still walking around?

I knew that diabetes is an extemely serious disease; all I kept thinking about was, "I don't want to wake up one morning, inside a hospital, missing a toe or foot, or become blind. I have always been a person that was self-dependent, and independent.

Emotionally speaking hearing the news was such a big weight for me; although I knew that this disease does not have to be a death sentence, I knew that it meant drastic last minute lifestyle changes that needed to be made... With the quickness.......

But the real question was, could I make a major lifestyle change after many years of bad eating habbits, and a anti gym mentality? Could someone like me who is scared of the sight of blood, now monitor his glucose? Can someone like me handle the multitude of information about diabetes?

Well, not wanting an early death was most definately a major motivator.

UPDATE August 2006....

After writing the about story, & despite my success in controlling my sugar, I was struck with a serious complication... Cataracts at the age of 38. Not knowing what this was, I thought my vision would return after I tamed my sugars, however, eventually, I became fully blind. Long story short, after almost a year of pure struggle, thank God* this was fully corrected, and I can know see; a new job, and I aspire to be an author, at least by next year.

Through my personal research, I realize that there is a serious myth about diabetes (speaking from the I)..... FAT, DOES NOT CAUSE DIABETES, it is the cells inability to respond to insulin. That is no ones falt. Therefore, if insulin cannot do its job, in controling the glucose levels... then guess what? the excess glucose gets stored as FAT. So you can have a teaspoon of rice and gain weight... People living with diabetes don't walk around with spoons in our mouths. Hello?

More people need to be educated on diabetes, both people who have it and don't. It is my belief that it should be on the same level as HIV/AIDS. People who have it, need to take it seriously, its not a game.. food can kill you, if you don't take control...

These days.....

I have gone back to writing poetry, and havd decided to put to gether a small booklet on diabetic awareness. As soon as I regained my sight, I was able to re-buy my old URL address, & rebuild my website. Lots of poetry and life reflection. Please visit one day.. www.yogachakra.ORG

I hope this has been an insparation to you..

Peace...

Yogiraj